Saturday, February 7, 2009

Panties or Sex?

It's been forever since I was last here... forgot the password! Don't ever get old.

But I'm back and would love to renew this place. So here's the question - for those of us afflicted with this love for women's silken underthings, is sex what happens with her or with her panties? Or is it both?

Growing up, long before I knew the glorious pleasures that women would add to my life, the answer was pretty simple. The difficulty later when I knew both kinds of sex was to choose between them. While enjoying the solitary pleasures a pair of silky panties can provide, I'd often think about how much better it would be if I could somehow introduce my lover to my secret love.

It worked the other way around as well - wondering as I basked in those glorious moments I shared with her, what new higher highs might be possible if only I were brave enough to bring my dark secret out in the open with her. But the risk of losing her always outweighed the potential gains - and so those were words left unspoken.

Sound familiar? Who of us has not wrestled with whether to shine a light onto the secret life we all lead - to risk it all in the hope that our lover would still love us once she knew how much we'd been lusting after - not another woman, but something she wears! Who hasn't been in a group where someone brought up a news story about some poor soul who'd been busted for stealing a pair (or more) of panties. Like me, did you wonder if you had laughed loudly enough to fit in... yet deep inside you felt the culprits shame and embarrassment?

Some lucky brothers have found a partner who not only accepts their panty mania, but have even incorporated it into their lives together. I do think that is the minority experience, and most of us are left to struggle how we are to make sense of a life where we must find ways to feed our secret lusts without being found out.

I've changed the masthead photo on this group because I think this one captures perfectly the dilemma. What a wickedly beautiful woman she is! Who would not have all manner of fantasy about how to spend an hour or day with her. But visitors to this site know there is another side to this picture - the complication delivered by the delicious, silky nylon briefs that cover her perfect bottom. So back to my initial question... is sex for us what happens with a pretty woman or what we also might do with her panties?

I'd love to hear your thoughts - how do you dealt with this dark duality? I must admit I'm at a loss.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Update - Bigger Picture

Hi! It's been a while since I last wrote anything here - lots of changes going on in my life have kept me distracted and away.

The good thing I suppose is that it's given me time to think about the direction I want this Blog to go. I’ve decided to pull back and take a big picture approach to exploring the business of living life as a panty fetishist.

So I’ve changed the name to reflect the new direction... after all, the Blog is all about our obsession with panties.No matter how distracting my life is or how crazy my schedule, all it takes is a woman bending over so I catch a glimpse of her panty waistband, or the flash of white as she swings her legs carelessly open exiting her car and my panty obsession instantly blots out whatever else I’d been doing or thinking of.

I go from zero to fetish in about a nanosecond! But you all know that drill.

We obsess for months and months paying no mind to how our mania may be screwing up our lives. Then we try to rein it in, perhaps even going so far as to purge our lives by tossing our collections of both panties and the other collateral that's part of our other, secret life. Binge: Purge: Binge: Purge...

Have you ever dared to wonder just how much irreplaceable treasure you've tossed along your rollercoaster life? The highs are as extraordinarily high as the lows are low… but after all that… I’m not sure I’m willing to change any more. I’ve grown to like who and what I am.The real question is about how to strike a balance… and how to find peace with ourselves?Join me here for a discussion of our panty fetishist's obsessions.Come on down... the confessional door is wide open!INDY

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Erotic Embarrassment or Panty Betrayal?

What a pleasure to be able to share with you the thoughts of a very good friend, someone I've known since the very early days when I discovered that I was not alone as a frantic panty lover. Steve Post and I have been corresponding since back in the days when we had to use "snail mail" to share our ideas.

Long before we all began browsing the Internet, I first saw his photos in the reader's section of Leg Show Magazine and had to find out more about this remarkable guy and his beautiful wife.

The name he's used on and off again over the years best describes his view of the erotic: "Hiddenviews". What better way to capture what drives us!

I discovered that Steve and I shared a lot about how we saw our world - the world of panties and other lingerie. Though I love words, I quickly saw that Steve had a firmer grasp of language and he also had clearer insights into the erotic needs that drive guys like us.

There is no better voice from the panty/lingerie community than Steve - he is our very own Panty Philosopher.

I am honored to share a message Steve sent to my Yahoo group earlier today. I hope you all enjoy his musings on "Erotic Embarrassment / Panty Betrayal".
PS... If you enjoy what he has to say, please stop by his Yahoo group:


"Reading about "geocaching" on http://pantytontine .blogspot. com took me back to my own youthful days… guilt mixed with pleasure… I began to think how the guilt became part of eroticism I now enjoy so much.

I also thought about my spouse and her interests, that spring not from feelings of guilt, but from embarrassment. As I thought more about how my guilt and her embarrassment fit meld with erotic pleasures, the terms "erotic embarrassment" , and "panty betrayal" took hold.

It all goes back to those days of fun at the funhouse I so often reminisce about at my group/blog http://groups. group/girdles/ and also of a time when catalog ads for girdles and panties were the mainstay of one's stash of erotic material.

It's ironic that in those repressive 1950's days, women's girdles and panties were so elaborately feminine and sensual in design; it had to make a woman feel ultra feminine, along with some level of desire to show off what they had on. But the restrictions and morays back then also instilled a strong sense of embarrassment about being seen in one's girdle, panty, or even just bra!

As sometimes happens when events and strong emotions become involved with equally strong erotica during one's formative years, the events and emotions become associated with erotica. In this regard, I can understand how a woman who finds it highly embarrassing to be seen in her panties, etc., might finds herself increasingly intrigued by the embarrassment to the point that it becomes pleasurable!

Well, so much for the female side of this, as for the male, this is where "panty betrayal" comes into play. Those of us privileged to have gone through the restrictive 1950's with all the sneaking around to keep one's stash of girdle, panty, and swimsuit ads hidden felt lots of guilt. Even more so, was the feeling that these ads were supposed to be just for women, and that our nefarious use of them might be found out - more guilt!

I guess I could term this male guilt "erotic guilt" instead of "panty "betrayal"- but I have to admit I like throwing in the word "panty" whenever I can. Still, considering the way I like to show off Babs in girdles, panties, etc., "panty betrayal" is a better fit.

The beauty of the two mindsets (the woman intrigued by "erotic embarrassment" , the man schooled in "panty betrayal") is how complimentary they are to each other."
Steve Post

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Geocached Stashes!

Someone recently posted an interesting comment on the idea of the Tontine - he suggested we consider 'geocaching' our treasured panties and lingerie.

The idea is to hide your stash in a buried weather/waterproof container and mark it's location coordinates using a GPS. Then if you go missing, a trusted friend (the 'shovel friend' another called him) who you've given the geocached information to can dig it up and in this case, the friend wins possession of your stash.

That is a solution... and it's certainly a bit extreme. But it's a creative, high tech variant of what many of us have done for years when we hide our stashes.

But frankly it's not much different from what I did when I was in grade school and needed to hide my precious Penney's & Sears catalog pages and the one pair of nylon briefs I'd snatched from a wash line, is it?

I had no place in my parents apartment to hide my secret stuff, so my solution was to wrap them in multiple layers of waxed paper and then put them into a tin can with a tightly fitting lid... which I then wrapped in layers and layers of black electrical tape. Not exactly high tech, but for the time (mid-fifties before plastic bags were part of our world) it was all this frantic boy could come up with.

The package was then buried on the side of a remote hill (to limit water seeping) and the spot marked with stones and a small stick from a nearby tree. I'd been in scouting, so I knew how to triangulate the spot using landmarks so I could find it. So much for elaborate GPS technology! But I didn't have to fear an embarrassing grilling from my mother, who I knew would have found my stash if I tried to hide it in our small, crowded apartment.

The downside to that solution and it's high tech geocached brother, is how difficult it is to gain access to the stash when we absolutely need to see and touch that precious stuff. And we ALL need to do that don't we?

Bill Turlock of LLAPA has a wonderful (true) story of the ultimate in buried stashes . This piece was the origination of my thoughts about creating some sort of Tontine... many of you will find it interesting - most of you should find the magnitude of the stash astonishing!

I remember sneaking over to my stash's hiding place every few days, and digging it out... all the while nervously looking over my shoulder to see if someone was watching. I could not be content knowing they were safely stored away... I needed to enjoy those panty pictures (the porn of the 50's) and the neighbor girl's panties. But after opening that container many times, the tape lost much of it's stickyness, and ultimately my stash ended up a nasty, mildewed mess. So much for home grown storage solutions!

But this sort of plan seems appropriate for emergency situations - like the one I went through recently with my friend "P". He feared his wife had figured out where his stash was hidden and he was away from home on a trip. I was able to swoop down and move his (huge) stash, and as a result all is well on the homefront today. I would not however have been able to dig enough holes to geocach "P's" enormous stash in the ground, so he and I settled on a more conventional strategy - I moved it to another public storage unit.

I'm glad that we are putting ideas on the table. This is a good start - it means we're thinking about how we can sanely move our collections safely on to their next owner. I invite you to post more thoughts ... for the more ideas we can collect here, the more likely we will be to find creative definitions for what this Panty Tontine ought to be.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Why A Panty Tontine?

The ultimate goal of this Blog is two fold… first to create a safe home where men with panty (and other similar) fetishes can talk about their shadow lives, feel better about themselves and perhaps to even gain a few useful insights into the stuff that drives us to be what we are.

Second will be to try to create a worldwide think tank of sorts where we ponder how "collectors" of vintage panties and other fine lingerie – can deal with the knotty issue of how our collections (stashes) should be dealt with when we toddle off to meet that great Gusseteer in the sky. I’m not concerned with mainstream lingerie collectors, but only those whose collecting is driven by a fetish for the items.

I'd venture a guess that many of you who’ve stopped by will find yourself resonating with the terrifying question of what might happen if you dropped over today. What would your family think to suddenly discover not only that you lead a secret, shadow life, but that they must now decide what to do with the (possibly huge) stash of panties and who knows what else you’ve left behind?

The embarrassment alone is enough to have kept most of us from thinking about this horrifying problem. Many years ago I started this conversation with my friend Bill Turlock, who runs Lingerie Lovers & Panty Art ( We spent more time talking about the crisis part than coming up with a viable solution. Though it was a concern, and because there didn’t seem to be an easy answer, it ultimately never got much play in our always too busy lives.

But we continued to age, and continued to talk about this problem of “final disposition”. But it was only after each of us confessed to having this same conversation with many others in the panty underground, did it become apparent that we were not the only ones troubled by the issue of what to do with our most valued possessions.

Thus, I’ve launched the Panty Tontine Blog - where together we can begin the search for an answer.

None of us of course can bear to think about what sort of disastrous decisions our surprised, and horrified family members will make. What they'll choose to do with our, often irreplaceable, stuff is almost unthinkable. I know several men whose stashes are easily valued in the tens of thousands of dollars – and there are others who I am sure own far more than that, so the issue is more complicated than simple embarrassment.

What happens in a crisis? Besides dying, what happens if you become disabled and someone must take over managing your affairs? Worse still, what happens if your spouse or life mate discovers your secret? Being “Busted” is probably our deepest and darkest fear, no?

How many of us have a good enough friend, who we can tell about our fetish, and about the secret stash? Someone who we can ask to step in and take possession of those precious items in just such a crisis? The answer for most of us probably is “none"!”

It’s not that those friends aren't around... it can happen. I’ve been asked by two close friends to be that “fail safe” friend, and am in possession of keys to their public storage units, each of which is filled to the ceilings with extremely rare and quite valuable lingerie. I am their "fail safe", but not many of us have that luxury. The issue is a difficult one to sort out… one made doubly difficult by the isolated, shadow world that drives our fetish activities.

A month or so ago, one of my friends (with one of the mentioned storage units) went through a full blown “Busted” crisis. His wife discovered the existence of his storage unit and demanded to see what was in it! He was traveling and could not get home, and when he did get there, he needed to take her over to the unit with him.

I was asked to step in and drove the 200+ miles to his unit to manage the safe transition of his stash to a new location. The timing was good for me this time, but going forward, he knows he may not be so lucky again. He is joining Bill and I (and hopefully many of you!) in the creation of this forum to begin the serious discussion of what guys like us can do next.

The good news is that we already have a loosely formed underground "brotherhood" made up of very creative people: lawyers, salesmen, business executives, doctors, engineers, teachers... you name it, we’ve probably got them as part of this brotherhood of panty fetishists. We know of each other through Internet sites we all may have visited.

The next task is to figure out how to join all our heads together, feed off each other's ideas and come up with a solution or solutions that make more sense than just giving up. Let's not have to say: "After I'm gone I guess it'll be someone else's problem". As a group we’re more responsible than that!

We’ve probably all seen movies where a group of men join together in a pact where the “prize” is a fine bottle of brandy, some property or other valuable. For lack of a better concept, that’s why I've decided to call this Blog “Panty Tontine”. It seems that part of the solution involves finding a way to pass along our secret stashes - to someone who values them in the same way we do. Making our stash a part of our "estate" does not seem to be an option for most of us!

This Tontine idea won't be like those classic, “last man standing wins” tontines. But there seems to be wisdom in joining together with other like minded souls to find a better solution than to force our embarrassed relatives to give our stuff to Good Will or worse yet, to just toss it in the bin!

Lots of knotty problems remain - legal questions, storage space, money and someone to manage the process are just the start. But until we begin thinking and talking about the issue, nothing will ever get done. I’ve launched this Blog as a forum for exploring brilliant ideas.

We also have a strong panty and soft fetish underground network… so in that light I’ve also sent notes out to some of the “giants” in the panty world (Bill Turlock, Sheerio, Sonia Dane and many others), asking if they’ll link to us, and help us in this quest. They can help us get the word out that there is a place to talk about "what happens next".

Sorry this has been such a long rant… but those who already know me know that when I get passionate about something, I write and write and write…

Hopefully this Blog will become a regular part of your online life… and going forward, I hope it will become a part of your everyday thinking as well. OK brothers, put your thinking caps on and let’s get this thing going!

INDY – Chief High Gusseteer!

Friday, December 28, 2007

Last Post From Panty Confessions...

Thanks for your patience with me dredging up all this stuff, but I think you may find it helpful, and hopefully even interesting to read. Going forward, I promise to post new ideas... but I do invite you all to tell me what you think!!

We're approaching the beginning of a brand new year, and no matter how you prognosticate the future, to paraphrase Humphrey Bogart: "Friends, I do believe we have the start of a beautiful friendship"!

Be careful over the New Year Holiday and be sure to post your thoughts.

Thursday, January 05, 2006
The Journey Home...

As I've already pointed out several times, isolation is one of the unfortunate results of having a fetish of any kind and is one of the driving forces that require us to live dual or secret lives. In my early years, long before there was anything like the Internet, I was convinced that I was the only male in the world who was so hopelessly attracted to the look and feeling of silky, nylon panties.

There was nothing I could do to change that it seemed, no matter how hard I tried. I periodically threw away all my lovingly saved pictures (torn from catalogs), and throw away my carefully collected a stash of pretty panties (a story for another day) and would promise myself (and yes, god too) that I'd stop looking and touching and thinking about panties.

These purge cycles usually came after overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame would build up and drive me to try to will myself to become "normal" like all the rest of my friends. But it was always to no avail... after a few days or weeks or sometimes months, I'd find it impossible to resist peeking up a careless girl's skirt or would come across a lingerie ad in a newspaper or magazine, and the whole cycle of compulsions would begin again.

Where did a young boy, or later man, turn to try to understand this powerful compulsion? Sadly the answer was - almost nowhere. I have always loved to read so the local public library was one of the places I spent a good deal of time after school and on weekends. Naturally in those days (early to mid 50's) all the "sex" books were kept safely guarded by the gray haired librarians, but a clever boy like me eventually discovered there were psychology books that contained amazing information about a all things sexual.

There I discovered the name for one of my compulsions; masturbation. My mother had caught me playing with myself several times when I was in bed and would scold me and make me go to sleep with my arms outside of the blankets. I was already sure this was an activity that was deeply wrong so when I read that these psychologists seemed to consider masturbation a fairly normal thing I was a bit relieved, but now a lot more confused. Where could a boy ask someone about this stuff?

Fast forward to nineteen ninty something, when this much older, graying guy discovered there were things called chat rooms on the Internet where people could openly (but privately) talk about every conceivable kind of sexual interest - including the love of my life, panties!

Those days on-line were like a feeding frenzy for me. I could strike up open conversations with others who by clever screen names openly advertized their membership in the underground brotherhood of panty lovers! There were lots of surprises as I discovered not only how many men loved panties, but how many different ways they loved them! My eyes and world were opened wide and my compulsive stashing now included hoarding tens of thousands of panty photos on my computer hard drive.

I also gained a better understanding about this mania for panties that controlled so much of me and my life, and that eventually resulted in me accepting myself for who I am, and what I am.

The process of getting to that place was not quick, nor was it easy, for despite the enormous pleasure I derived browsing through the almost endless supply of photos and chatting with hundreds of others who shared my fetish, I found myself still searching for more - for a place where I could feel at home and talk about my life as I might with a brother or close friend who would understood and care about me the way my brothers and friends did in my other, public life. Next time I'll describe the homecoming I finally experienced... but this is enough for now.
posted by Gusseteer at 7:37 AM

Why We Love What We Love...

Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Grieving Over Thongs

One of the things I've enjoyed most about having this obsession with women's panties has been how much pleasure I get from browsing around public places looking for the delightful hints that are offered by women's outwear - hints about what's being worn beneath - ie - VPL.

I understand how hard most women work at avoiding a display of VPL (visible panty line), but in my experience, short of wearing no panties at all, there is probably no way for her to keep a professional peeker like me from finding enough hints to decide what kind of panties the lady is wearing.

Inevitably there will be a slight indentation where the leg elastic binds just a bit, or perhaps her trousers gap just a bit revealing a flash of the elastic waistband, or it might be when she bends over I will see the faint telltale line of her panty gusset. It's also possible to pick up a hint of the woman's panties' color through the fabric of a carelessly chosen pair of shorts or trousers. By wearing only pantyhose, or (gasp!) a thong style panty, a woman can derail even the most professional of peekers.

But when I do find a VPL it is both a satisfying and exciting find.The point of this little rant is that most of us who have a panty fetish are actually sort of old fashioned romantics at heart. I suppose it's not very politically correct to even admit to having such a condition, and many women may feel it's not very polite for me to want to take advantage of those careless moments when her panties have been exposed in public, but I do believe peeking is pretty much a normal male response to finding an opportunity to get a look at something as intimate, exciting and forbidden as a woman in her panties.

It's a hobby shared by the regular Joe as well as the hard core panty lover. I enjoy the mental exercise offered by VPLs and how they allow me to use all the visible clues presented by the woman to come up with my best guess as to what she's got on. But where Joe's curiosity is satisfied by a lucky peek, mine is revved up by it causing me to fantasize about what she may have looked like getting dressed that morning, who she may have had thoughts of as she selected her lingerie, and of course, what else she may do later on.

Growing up as I did in the late 40's and 50's was a delightful time for a young panty lover. Women wore glorious clothes, and most often over wonderful delicious layers of lingerie. By the time I was dating in high school (quite a few years before the launch of the "sexual revolution" of the 60's) she allowed me to slowly discover all the detail of each of those marvelous, sexy garments she was wearing... but only over the extended time it took me to earn her trust.

In the 60's Carole King sang a song titled "Anticipation" which pretty well describs the joyful process I went through with my girlfriend - working through layer after layer of her most intimate garments before ever finding the few square inches of exotic bare skin that were covered and shielded by all that wonderful lingerie.

Today where is the mystery? Where is the anticipation? How can any man feel he's got anything to look forward to when the Lingerie Industry has mandated the "Less Is More" theory for their lingerie and clothing designs. Whoever designed the thong (as an undergarment or swim suit) ought to be drawn and quartered!

Women's clothing styled to "Give it all away" to every and anyone who casts a casual glance her way has taken the delight out of watching them. What's to look forward to anymore? Most men today probably see a woman in her clothes and wonder what she looks like naked... a panty fetishist such as me sees a naked woman and wonders what she'd look like in her panties (full briefs, please!)... and her bra... and her full lacy slip....Now that's kinky, no?

Thongs are Awful, Unforgiveable Stuff!I believe the sense of mystery, anticipation and awe men (and boys) experienced decades ago fostered a more polite and romantic culture. We can all agree that the progress generated by the women's movement have helped move women rights closer to where things ought to be today... but I'm really talking about here is not seeing women as objects, but growing up with a respect and appreciation that just doesn't square with teenaged girls hanging most of their naked bodies out for public review when the go to the beach.

I suppose these are the hopeless rants of an old geezer who has lost his modern sensibilities - perhaps he's too caught up in memories of the past to appreciate today's definition of "sexy", but it does seem to me that both young men and women today are missing out on something quite lovely. Discovering everything about each other doesn't have to happen on the first date. I do think they just might enjoy the agonizing anticipation of earning things the old fashioned way... one delightful, slippery layer at a time.

Oh, and please write your congressperson and ask them to make thongs illegal?
posted by Gusseteer at 6:15 PM